How to Eat Mexican Food

Step One:  Tell your Mom you're starving and the only thing that's delicious is steak.
Step Two: Get your brother on board.
Step Three: Roll out to El Jaripeo (Mexican).
Step Four: Walk in like a boss. Wave and yell "Olaf!" at anyone who even slightly resembles a South American person.
Step Five: Sit in a booth. Proclaim it unfit. Move outside and wait for the waiter to deliver your menus, drinks, straws, chips and salsa. Then proclaim that table unfit too.
Step Six: Once settled into the right table, feed the majority of your basket of chips to the non existent "hiding birds" who are clearly starving.
Step Seven: Repeat "Olaf!" then order another basket of chips from the waiter. Ignore his glances at the chips around your feet. Argue loudly with Mom when she insists that we do not, in fact, need any more chips.
Step Eight: When the waiter asks for your order, demand steak "but not brown steak. Red steak. Like a wolf eats. Don't cook it!" Argue again with Mom when she butts in.
Step Nine: Make fun of your brother when he orders a cheese pizza. Tell him "vegetarians are lame-oh Coley!"
Step Ten: Dump your milk on top of the chips around your feet.
Step Eleven: When your platter of wolf meat arrives, insist that your brother try some. Remind him over and over that vegetarians are dumb and shove bites of meat in his face. Take full advantage of his uncontrollable laughter by actually inserting meat into his mouth when he laughs too hard.
Step Twelve: Chow Down! Mexican Food is the Best!